‘Guys are notoriously known for shutting down:’ Nanaimo-based cancer support group celebrates 100th coffee meet-up

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Duane Seibel (L) and Don Helgeson address a captive audience on Tuesday, May 12 at White Rabbit Coffee Co. in downtown Nanaimo. (Image Credit: Ian Holmes/NanaimoNewsNOW)

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'Guys are notoriously known for shutting down:' Nanaimo-based cancer support group celebrates 100th coffee meet-up

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“What we’ve created is not a counselling group, it’s not a self-help group, it’s a community where it’s safe to share things and it is powerful,” Seibel told NanaimoNewsNOW.

Coffee gatherings are augmented by other regular indoor and outdoor social outings, but it seems a jolt of caffeine is striking the right balance for most Sea Wolves dealing with cancer, especially those struggling physically.

For many men, a cup of coffee and connecting with others in similar situations is highlight of the week, Seibel said.

He added their group helps in other ways beyond social and emotional support.

“We’ve helped guys move, we’ve helped guys clean up their yards, especially when they’re in treatment.”

Don Helgeson is a retired RCMP officer who has continually fought prostate cancer.

The Sea Wolves co-founder said their coffee gatherings started with roughly five men, since rising to 20 to 25 men now showing up.

“Men are starting to see what we’re doing and seeing how much it helps, especially when it comes to the social and mental side of things. Let’s face it, guys are notoriously known for shutting down when they get diagnosed with something.”

Helgeson said a regional cancer centre under construction in Nanaimo will make a big difference in many people’s lives when the facility opens.

He said out of town treatments take a toll.

“To have the opportunity to do your treatments, whether it’s the initial surgeries or the follow-up radiation, and be able to sleep in your own bed that night is a game-changer — I was gone for six weeks two years ago.”

While several men travel to Nanaimo for coffee and other planned gatherings, the Sea Wolves movement has left a mark elsewhere.

Inspired by the local Sea Wolves, Barry Ward of Port Alberni co-founded regularly scheduled coffee gatherings in his hometown in February.

With limited support for men like him impacted by cancer in the Alberni Valley area, Ward’s wife supported his advocacy to help himself and others.

“She didn’t give me a gentle nudge; she gave me a shove to start one up.”

Monday coffee gatherings of around five men have grown to in the range of eight to a dozen on hand regularly in Port Alberni, Ward said proudly.

“It’s hard for men to open up to talk about dealing with cancer. Everyone is opening up in different ways.”

The Sea Wolves non-profit movement still provides comfort cancer packs filled with various hygiene items to assist Vancouver Island area men during cancer treatments.

More information on Sea Wolves is available on the group’s Facebook page and website.

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